Without apologies that may have been due one of his favorite Tea Party Republicans, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh has dug up the whole Paul Revere thing again.
Only this time, instead of backstopping Palin’s arcane understanding of Revolutionary War history, the conservative-talk-show giant is launching his own iced-tea line — with a Reverian twist.
Two If By Tea, as he's calling it, is one of very few commercial ventures Limbaugh has ever launched outside his radio show, erstwhile TV show, website and line of licensed goods. Available in four flavors (there's even a low-cal variation), the beverage brand initially is available only online, for a price of $23.76 for a 12-pack of single-serve bottles.
Sold in a package emblazoned with a depiction of the Missouri native dressed in full colonial regalia, Two If By Tea takes its name, of course, from Longfellow’s famous poem about Revere’s Last Ride to warn colonists about the arrival of British troops.
While Glenn Beck is extending his brand to a daily deals site, Limbaugh's brand extension is an apt metaphor for the warning that he has been issuing for more than two decades from behind what is now “the golden EIB [Excellence in Broadcasting] microphone” in Florida: "Beware liberals who want to undermine America."
One thing Limbaugh is afraid they’re undermining is nothing less than the nation’s economic system. So the tea represents “traditional American values of capitalism and the pursuit of excellence, and each bottle is designed to rise above the sameness and mediocrity that threatens our great nation.” A portion of every sale will go to the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation, a charity that helps the children of US soldiers who die in combat.
"The tea inside the 16 ounce bottles is the best that you have ever tasted," he promised on his radio show last week, adding:
Two If By Tea is made just the way my mother used to make it, simple and satisfying. Nothing fancy here, just the simple pursuit of excellence in every bottle of tea we make. Whether you're kicking back on the front porch reflecting on the greatness of our country or firing up the barbeque on a nice hot summer afternoon, Two If By Tea is the perfect accompaniment.
Limbaugh welcomed early reviews from fans who’d already ordered express delivery of Two If By Tea. “If they like it,” Limbaugh said hopefully, “a whole new world opens up [of] word-of-mouth marketing.”
Limbaugh certainly knows a thing or two about that.