Celebrity Wines Now Meaningless

Maybe the most telling thing about the story of the Three Fat Guys wine label is that the trio of Green Bay Packers linemen behind the label did it "with the help of Packers cornerback Charles Woodson, who has his own wine label, 'TwentyFour.'" Packers icon Brett Favre's wine has, of course, long been available in Cabernet, Merlot and Chardonnay varietals. ($24; "… shipping to WI address only.")

Winemaking is the new vanity undertaking for celebrities unwilling to launch their own "scent." Even thrash metal rock band Slayer has announced it will release its own wine. It is named "Reign In Blood." Yes, the wine party has come to an end. It was fun.

Like people who like Slayer, the wine is said to boast "tough and uncompromising taste."

The Slayer wine is a product of Brands for Fans, a Swedish group that combines "the strength of a brand - be it an actor, a band, a writer or a company - with quality beverages, and the sum of one plus one suddenly equals three." But while the force behind the wine may be Swedish, the Cabernet Savignon is all California. Like Slayer, the bottle looks badass, but the wine itself is only 12.5% alcohol. Just 714 krona ($105) per case of six bottles.

Slayer is just the latest band to offer its own wine after The Rolling Stones and, um, Train. But before we could snark too hard on Train's "Drops of Jupiter Petite" syrah and "Calling All Angels" chardonnay (no kidding), we learned that the band is giving $50,000 made from the wine to San Francisco's Benioff Children's Hospital.

Wine as a means of charitable action is not reserved for just the pink ribbon of breast cancer. From the recent press release: "The Wellness Community, California Central Coast is pleased to announce the release of 26,000,001, its own wine label, for the purpose of raising funds and awareness for the cancer survivors and families that it serves."

For those unsure what celebrity wine to guzzle, there is now Wine By Wives, the "Celebrity Wine of the Month Club." Wines By Wives is "a celebrity wine club imagined by Reality TV stars Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Barney." The celebrity wine club is not all about shameless self promotion: "each celebrity will be donating a portion of a member’s initial order to their favorite charity. Currently, Tamra has chosen a Breast Cancer charity and Vicki has selected a Battered Women’s shelter as their recipient organizations."

Meanwhile, the story of the three former Packers behind Three Fat Guys notes that "there is talk of producing a 'skinny' chardonnay in honor of the three wives, who are slender and enjoy white wine more than their husbands."

They can expect a flag on that play, as well as a very public, very celebrity, wine lawsuit.